I would consider myself a former Scientologist but have not fallen out of grace with the church, mostly because I keep my criticisms and questions to myself. I participated in Scientology in Los Angeles. I have held certain staff positions, am young, and have made certain Bridge progress; basically enough to have witnessed various abuses, and participated in the deception that permeates all Scientology activity.
(I am being circumspect about who I am because the Church has a unit that looks into these kind of blogs and tracks down the Scientologist to reform their thinking).
This blog serves a couple purposes, but as my URL suggests, its mainly just “self-care”, as I rarely talk to anyone about this stuff. My world would come crashing down around me if I did talk about this with my loved ones because they are all Scientologists and would disconnect from me…Maybe that’s for the better? If so, I’m not there yet.
Another purpose is to give insight into the thoughts of those “under -the-radar” such as myself. The utter mind fuck that people go through when realizing their lens of reality was a big con is greatly detailed and covered in many tv shows, books, films and podcasts; especially over the last few years. We also hear what its like when one is in the head space of a Scientologist when they are completely gung-ho and involved. But we don’t hear much from people that are straddling the fence in real time, feeling just as betrayed and bitter, but also attempting to keep up the facade and avoid the ire of the church, friends and family.
That’s where I’m at. My views are probably still colored by my time in Scientology. They’re also prejudiced against it. This is me trying to sort out what my own thoughts and beliefs are as the church slowly collapses under the colossal weight of its lies.